A woman should be an illusion.
Ian Fleming
Women are always beautiful.
Ville Valo
A woman wears her tears like jewelry.
Author Unknown
I married beneath me – all women do.
Nancy Astor-1951
Men get laid, but women get screwed.
Quentin Crisp
Brains are an asset, if you hide them.
Mae West
A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.
Karl Kraus
A man chases a woman until she catches him.
American Proverb
What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.
Edward Dahlbert
One is not born a woman, one becomes one.
Simone de Beauvoir-1949
No woman wants to see herself too clearly.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
A woman should soften but not weaken a man.
Sigmund Freud
Woman’s virtue is man’s greatest invention.
Cornelia Otis Skinner
Men who don’t like girls with brains don’t like girls.
Mignon McLaughlin[Notebook]-1966
Women like silent men. They think they’re listening.
Marcel Achard[4 November]-1956
Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.
Mae West
Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.
Germaine Greer
Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.
William Shakespeare
Men have been paying taco tax for centuries, millennia probably.
Rick Claro
I’m not against half naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be.
Benny Hill
Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.
Bette Davis
A woman’s whole life is a history of the affections.
Washington Irving
I’ve reached the age where competence is a turn-on.
Billy Joel
I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.
George Meredith
Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.
William Shakespeare
To get to a woman’s heart, a man must first use his own.
Mike Dobbertin
Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.
Jules Barbey d’Aurevilly
It is because of men that women dislike one another.
Jean de La Bruyere-1688
Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate.
Mignon McLaughlin-1960
Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves.
Elissa Melamed
Let us leave the beautiful women to men with no imagination.
Marcel Proust-1925
Physically, a man is a man for a much longer time than a woman is a woman.
Honore de Balzac
The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart.
Author Unknown
A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery.
Diana Sturm
God did it on purpose so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you.
Mrs Patrick Campbell
A woman asks little of love* only that she be able to feel like a heroine.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
The chief excitement in a woman’s life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
Helen Rowland
I would rather trust a woman’s instinct than a man’s reason.
Stanley Baldwin
I hate women because they always know where things are.
Voltaire
Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.
Madeleine K. Albright
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Aristotle Onassis
It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily.
Mignon McLaughlin-1960
They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Author Unknown
Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet.
Brendan Francis
Women polish the silver and water the plants and wait to be really needed.
Mignon McLaughlin-1960
Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.
Elsa Schiaparelli
Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weakness.
Marie de Vichy-Chamrond
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.
Elizabeth Metcalf
Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked.
Ovid
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.
W.C. Fields
Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed.
Cornelia Otis Skinner
A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women.
Edgar Wallace
Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.
Oscar Wilde
I’d rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four.
Fred Allen
Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones.
Camille Paglia
Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right – instantly.
Sam Slick
A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.
Oscar Wilde
A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.
Arnold Haultain
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.
Carrie Snow
A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.
Elbert Hubbard
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
Laurence J. Peter
The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.
Ellery Queen
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.
Nicole Hollander
Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her.
John Vanbrugh-1696
Beauty is the first present Nature gives to women, and the first it takes away.
‘Mere’
Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman’s weapon is her tongue.
Hermione Gingold
Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.
James Thurber
If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she’s late? Nobody.
J*D* Salinger
Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.
Samuel Johnson
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.
Gail Sheehy
The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.
Robert Graves
You have to have the kind of body that doesn’t need a girdle in order to get to pose in one.
Carolyn Kenmore
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.
Author Unknown
Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty.
James Thurber[15 August]-1960
Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.
Stephen Stills
If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.
Thomas Carlyle
The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom.
Guy de Maupassant
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.
Dave Barry
Women who make men talk better than they are accustomed to are always popular.
E.V. Lucas
Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life, especially for their owners.
George du Maurier
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.
Author Unknown
You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.
Cindy Crawford
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Author Unknown
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Charlotte Whitton
Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Author Unknown
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.
Chauncey Mitchell Depew
There’s something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.
Harold Robbins
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s s*xual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.
Author Unknown
The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges.
Germaine Greer
Howiver, I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish: God Almighty made ‘em to match the men.
George Eliot
Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.
Doctor Leon
I have an idea that the phrase weaker s*x was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Ogden Nash
The torment that so many young women know, bound hand and foot by love and motherhood, without having forgotten their former dreams.
Simone * de * Beauvoir
They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle; but to me a modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation.
Oliver Goldsmith
You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man’s rib; she was really made from his funny bone.
J.M. Barrie
Men really prefer reasonably attractive women; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
If President Nixon’s secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses’ secretary, there would only be eight commandments.
Art Buchwald-1974
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
Woody Allen-1973
It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.
Alexandre Dumas
When I glimpse the backs of women’s knees I seem to hear the first movement of Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony.
Author Unknown
I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.
Bella Abzug
There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man: These are the faithful women.
Alfred Capus
Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman.
Nancy Astor
I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.
George Eliot
If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don’t; if you don’t know what he expects, what are you doing married?
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen.
Compton Mackenzie-1933
The man’s desire is for the woman; but the woman’s desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge
After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of that one. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.
Mel Gibson
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Dave Barry
Women are like dogs really. They love like dogs, a little insistently. And they like to fetch and carry and come back wistfully after hard words, and learn rather easily to carry a basket.
Mary Roberts Rinehart
It’s the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
Tallulah Bankhead
A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
Variability is one of the virtues of a woman. It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy. So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem.
G.K. Chesterton-1910
With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate?
Germaine Greer-1970
A woman can look both moral and exciting… if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle.
Edna Ferber
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
Fran Lebowitz
You’re booty-blinded. You know what that is? It’s like being snow-blinded only it ain’t no snow, it’s a cute little piece of ass.
Movie Quote – I Spy
Women are never landlocked: they’re always mere minutes away from the briny deep of tears.
Mignon McLaughlin-1966
The people I’m furious with are the women’s liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That’s true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket.
Anita Loos[10 February]-1974
Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.
Author Unknown
No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
H.L. Mencken