George Burns was born on January 20, 1896 at Nathan Birnbaum and died on March 9, 1996. He was an American actor, writer and a comedian. He married to Gracie Allen. For more than 3 quarters of a century his arches eyebrow and punctuation became trademarks. He started his carrier resurrection at the age of 79 which was limited as he died before 100. They were 10 children and George was the ninth child.
“Quotes By George Burns”
How can I die? I’m booked.
George Burns
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns
There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
Retire? I’m going to stay in show business until I’m the only one left.
George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile.
George Burns
I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can’t get old; I’m working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you’re working, you stay young. When I’m in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better, and I’ll tell you something else … I never lied better.
George Burns
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile.
George Burns
With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect.
George Burns
I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren’t what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
George Burns
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
George Burns
Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or fourteenth.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
George Burns
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
George Burns
How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.
George Burns
People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways – I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.
George Burns
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
George Burns
I’m going to stay in show business until I’m the last one left.
George Burns
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
George Burns
People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my 87 birthday. I tell them a paternity suit.
George Burns
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
By the time you are 80, you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.
George Burns
I was married by a judge – I should have asked for a jury.
George Burns
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
George Burns
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
George Burns
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
George Burns
If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
George Burns
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns
For forty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died.
George Burns
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
George Burns
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
George Burns
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
George Burns
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
George Burns
Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can’t wait to finish your breakfast. You can’t wait to do your exercises. You can’t wait to put on your clothes. You can’t wait to get out – and you can’t wait to come home, because the soup is hot.
George Burns
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns
“Is it true that you smoke eight to ten cigars a day?”
“That’s true.”
“Is it true that you drink five martinis a day?”
“That’s true.”
“Is it true that you still surround yourself with beautiful young women?”
“That’s true.”
“What does your doctor say about all of this?”
“My doctor is dead.”
George Burns
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
George Burns
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns
And God said: ‘Let there be Satan, so people don’t blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don’t blame everything on Satan.’
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
George Burns
This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.
George Burns
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
George Burns
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
George Burns
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
George Burns
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns