Army Quotes, Favourite Quotations and Sayings – Quotes Junction

I wouldn’t be surprised if one day Carl’s halo slipped and choked him.
Allan Wells

I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.
Johnny Mercer

The problem with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard.
David Gerrold

A slander is like a hornet; if you can’t kill it dead the first time, better not strike at it.
Henry Wheeler Shaw

I’ve had a wonderful evening – but this wasn’t it.
Groucho Marx

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.
Abe Lemons

She looks as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.
Jonathan Swift

It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.
Rose Macaulay

How clever of you to think of it.
Oliver Herford

O, she is the antidote to desire.
William Congreve

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
English professor

Some people are like Slinkies… not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Author Unknown

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can’t ignore it, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh at it; if you can’t laugh at it, it’s probably deserved.
J. Russel Lynes

I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.
Charles Baudelaire

Her face was her chaperone.
Rupert Hughes

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.
Oscar Levant

You couldn’t get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.
Edward Flaherty

Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.
Mark Twain

I’ve never been better! In the last act yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats.
Dustin Farnum

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say “when.”
P.G. Wodehouse

“If you were my husband, Winston, I should flavour your coffee with poison.”
Winston Churchill: “If I were your husband, madam, I should drink it.”
Nancy Astor

I can’t believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.
Steven Pearl