A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
Lana Turner

M�n has will, but woman has her way.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

A man in the house is worth two in the street.
Mae West

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.
Jeanne-Marie Roland

The more I know about men the more I like dogs.
Gloria Allred

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
Helen Rowland

Why can’t women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
Kathy Lette

Always suspect any job men willingly vacate for women.
Jill Tweedie

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.
Roseanne Barr

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
Maryon Pearson

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract.
Kathy Lette

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.
Kathy Lette

Don’t let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.
Mae West

Any woman can fool a man if she w�nts to and if he’s in love with her.
Agatha Christie

My attitude toward men who mess �round is simple: If you find ‘em, kill ‘em.
Loretta Lynn

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Elayne Boosler

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
Margaret Thatcher

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance * a sharp, vindictive glance.
James Thurber

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men �lways are. That is the difference between the s*x*s.
Oscar Wilde

Between men �nd women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
Oscar Wilde

On the one hand, we’ll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
Bruce Willis

If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
Linda Ellerbee

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.
Tim Allen

Men c�n read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
Roseanne Barr

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.
Lenny Bruce

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.
Tracy Smith

Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.
Charles Bukowski

You see a lot of sm�rt guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
Erica Jong

There’s nineteen men livin’ in my neighborhood eighteen of them are fools and the one ain’t no doggone good.
Bessie Smith

What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?
Karen Blixen

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men?
Barbra Streisand

Men are generally more law-abiding than women. Women have the feeling that since they didn’t make the rules, the rules have nothing to do with them.
Diane Johnson

Whether women are better th�n men I cannot say*but I can say they are certainly no worse.
Golda Meir

The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.
Helen Rowland

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.
Helen Rowland

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
Will Rogers

Everyone knows that a man can always marry even if he reaches 102, is penniless, and has all his faculties gone. There is always some woman willing to take � chance on him.
Amy Vanderbilt

There are two things that will be believed of �ny man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.
Booth Tarkington

All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people.
Will Cuppy

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Tim Allen

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they’re both on fire – they’re exactly alike.
Dave Attell

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.
Helen Rowland

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, �nd another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
Helen Rowland

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Helen Rowland

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
Helen Rowland

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care �nd vehicle maintenance.
Tim Allen

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house.
Jean Kerr

(For everybody knows that it requires very little to satisfy the gentlemen), if a woman will only give her mind to it.
Margaret Oliphant

The first time you buy a house you think how pretty it is and sign the check. The second time you look to see if the b�sement has termites. It’s the same with men.
[Lupe Velez]