You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’
Tommy Cooper
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.
Mac McCleary
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive
I can’t swim. I can’t drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake?
Dylan Moran
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
kGeorge Carlin
Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible – or even sinful – that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes!
Dr. Paul MacCready, Jr.
Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer.
Life is too short for traffic.
Dan Bellack
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
American Proverb
Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities.
Lewis Mumford
A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank.
No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means.
Garrett Hardin
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
Doug Larson
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.
A people who’s primary aims are driving, shopping, and television are subject to terrorism at any time.
Steven Deitz
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.
Jason Love
Automobiles are not ferocious…. it is man who is to be feared.
Robbins B. Stoeckel
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
The elderly don’t drive that badly; they’re just the only ones with time to do the speed limit.
Jason Love
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
Bill Vaughan
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Noelie Altito
I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
Mary Ellen Kelly
Man drives, but the Creator holds the reins.
Jewish Proverb
Remember the street car cannot turn out.
Charles M. Hayes
When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there’s a good chance the transmission is shot.
Larry Lujack
The speedway ends at the cemetery.
The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to the self, his mobile Walden Pond.
Edward McDonagh
If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.
Remember folks, street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.
Jim Samuels
Recklessness is a species of crime and should be so regarded on our streets and highways.
Marlen E. Pew
The automobile is technologically more sophisticated than the bundling board, but the human motives in their uses are sometimes the same.
Charles M. Allen
A city that outdistances man’s walking powers is a trap for man.
Arnold Toynbee
I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.
Stephen Wright
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
Dudley Moores
Walking isn’t a lost art – one must, by some means, get to the garage.
Evan Esar
The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key.
Edward Abbey
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
H.G. Wells
Each year it seems to take less time to fly across the ocean and longer to drive to work.
Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.
E.B. White
Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car.
On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park.
Curtis McDougall
The car has become… an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete.
Marshall McLuhan